E – EXPECTATIONS There is no promise from God that ANYONE on this earth will do, say, or think, what I want, or think, I need them to do, say or think. There are only COMMANDMENTS from God of what I am to DO, SAY, or THINK, and PROMISES of what GOD will do in response to my obedience to His Word. When I put EXPECTATIONS on others, I put them, and myself, in bondage.
I – INTOLERANCE When others don’t live up to my Expectations, I become intolerant, consciously or subconsciously, hoping my intolerance will make them meet my expectations.
B – BITTERNESS When being intolerant does not cause others to meet my expectations, then I become bitter, hoping my bitterness will motivate the person I have put in bondage to meet my expectations.
R – RESENTMENT When the Bitterness doesn’t lead to the desired expectation from another, then I get filled with resentment.
U – UNFORGIVENESS When the Resentment doesn’t work, then I become Unforgiving. By now I have the entire Bitterness, Resentment and Unforgiveness cycle working full time in my life…all stemming from EXPECTATIONS of OTHERS that God never promised me.
I call this the EIBRU © factor because I go around with an underlying BREWING going on ALL DAY LONG. So think of the EIBRU © factor as:
Do you ever find yourself Brewing? When you find yourself brewing, ask yourself “WHO am I EXPECTING to think, say or do the way I think they should think, say and do.” Then ask yourself “would I want anyone expecting ME to think, say or do the way THEY think I should think, say or do.” Then ask yourself “who do I think I am?” I would never want anyone to put me in that bondage of expectation, so I should not put expectations on others to think, say or do the way I think they should think, say or do.
To break that brewing cycle, I need to start living my life to the best of my ability and reach over to the lives of others to ENHANCE their life, not pull on their life for my own personal gratification. Pray for others, and do for others. The paradox of interdependence is a factor here. I ask others to help me, when I need help, but I don’t put EXPECTATIONS of help on others. People will help me, if I don’t put them into the bondage of EXPECTATION.
When I have a need, I ASK GOD to provide. If I need support, or encouragement, or to have something done, I could mention it to my spouse, or to a relative, or friend. But if I don’t get what I am seeking in a timely manner, don’t BREW, but, rather ASK GOD to provide what I am seeking, or if it is a chore to be done, start quietly doing it myself. If I really NEED help, then the Lord will send someone to help me. If I don’t need help, and can’t do the chore myself, it is probably because it does not really need to be done, or I have put the burden of the chore on the wrong person. Perhaps I am attempting to have a chore done that my spouse should be doing, or arranging to have done. Then I can quietly mention the chore, but don’t burden others, and put them, and myself, into bondage with EXPECTATIONS.
“Expectations are Premeditated Resentment”
“I am only victimized by my own consent”